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Archive for March, 2010

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Wednesday Wisdom : Perfectionism

Striving for perfection is the greatest stopper there is. It’s your excuse to yourself for not doing anything. Instead, strive for excellence, doing your best.

— Sir Laurence Olivier
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The Key Ingredient for Fixing What’s Broken = You !!

Ladies, why are we so broken? What consistently brings us to that all-consuming black hole of self-deprecation? How is it that we can so fervently profess the extraordinary value that lies within our closest female friends and, in the same breath, allow ourselves to be beaten utterly senseless—emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually—by everyone around us, including ourselves? How do we get to ‘that place’?

These are questions that have weighed heavily on my heart for as long as I can remember, and more recently, having publicly shared about my experience with postpartum depression, lost and then gained treasured friendships with like-minded moms of young children, unwillingly undergone increasingly challenging life changes, and watched countless episodes of ‘real’ reality shows like Hoarders, Intervention, and Snapped, my desire to find the answers has grown at an increasing rate, gaining a sense of urgency along the way.

Why do we find it such a challenge to love ourselves? And, how do we change our ways? What can we do to ensure that we treat ourselves with the love and respect we so richly deserve?

My Simple Solution: Think of my daughter. What kind of role model do I want to be for her? What beliefs do I want to instill in her about her own self-worth? My greatest desire as a mom is to teach my daughter how to be a strong, confident, self-sufficient, and kind-hearted woman. So, that is exactly the person that I must try to be.

Now, what about you? Who are you today? What lessons are you teaching those around you? Remember, you deserve nothing less than the respect and love that you would bestow upon your best friend in a heartbeat. In fact, this is the perfect moment for you to be your very own “perfectly imperfect” best friend.

How do you affirm your self-worth as a woman, a wife, a mother, and a friend? Are there times when you struggle to see your own value? What tactics do you employ to get yourself out of ‘that funk’? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Wednesday Wisdom : Self-Respect

What destroys us most effectively is not a malign fate but our own capacity for self-deception and for degrading our own best self.

— George Eliot
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Are You “Perfectly Imperfect”?

It never fails… With little ones at home, our days quickly become a blur of chunky spit-up, toxic diapers, and never-ending sibling rivalry. Sure, “things will get easier” when the kids are older, but do they really? Every stage of development seems to bring its own challenges and frustrations to the table. Is it actually possible to “get things under control” and live a “normal, happy life”?

Well, I hate to break it to you, girlfriend, but you are already living a “normal life.” Motherhood is tough. You’ll second-guess yourself continuously. You’ll wonder whether you’ve made a mistake. You’ll believe that you’ve scarred your children for life. And you’ll be certain that the mom you see at the supermarket or the park or the library or wherever is doing a far better job than you… (never mind the fact that it is now 3 o’clock in the afternoon, she hasn’t showered since last Tuesday, and the only reason she’s finally out of the house is to get away from her over-critical-in-town-for-a-month-long-visit mother-in-law that was driving her crazy!)

It’s time to get real. Here’s the brutal honest truth…

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An Astounding (and Alliterative!) “Adjective Aficianado” Announcement…

Woohoo! I am on fire tonight, baby!

Have you ever found yourself in a really good groove… or, better yet, a totally awesome groove… you know, the kind where time really does fly and when you finally take a potty break before the next bladder-busting cough comes along, you suddenly realize that it’s way past the kids’ bedtime, you haven’t checked for homework, and dinner never made it out of the freezer (let alone onto the table for a family meal)! Not to worry, though… the little ones aren’t starving… they’ve been helping themselves to all kinds of snacks while you’ve been engrossed in your work! *grin*

Well, I am totally on the verge of drowning for all the creative juices flowing out of my brain right now! Yay! Finally… Mommy brain turned off… Intelligent, eloquent, innovative, college-educated mass of mental prowess turned on! *wink*

I am simply giddy with excitement for all these new ideas floating around in my head (that have now, thank the heavens, found their way onto the page)! Phew! Debilitating self-loathing averted! *heavy sigh of relief*

So now the question is… What to share? How much to divulge? O, all the tillating goodness lurking ’round every bend…! Ah… But you must wait, my good friend… Let me have just one moment more to mold this marvelous mental music into a magnificent masterpiece before you peek inside…

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